18th day of Lent

Sleeping well is a gift. I am discovering that a clear and clean conscience has great impact on sleep. I am glad to say that most nights I sleep very well. Sometimes I’m burdened and that keeps my sleep restless. And when I’m restless then I get “less” rest. Sleep is a good place to check up on my Lenten journey. Am I resting well, or am I burdened and restless? Is my conscience clean and clear?

I can be burdened about life. I can be burdened about our children. I can be burdened about decisions to be made. I can be burdened about a friend or parishioner in trouble. I can be burdened about uncertainties. But Jesus taught me to share my burdens with Him through prayer. When I listen to His advice and follow His directive I discover just what Peter understood when he recorded these words: “Cast all your anxiety on God, because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) Learning to cast my anxious burdens into God’s hands helps me to sleep and rest well.

I remember being asked as a child, “Is your conscience bothering you?” This was mom’s way of trying to discover who had “done it.” She was on the search for the guilty party of misbehavior. In my adult years, I have discovered if my conscience is bothering me, I don’t sleep very well. If I have sinned in some way and am trying to hide it from God, myself and others, then I am restless. The power of “confession” of sins is quite energetic. If I accept my sin as sin and confess it to God, it is amazing how peaceful my life becomes. The grace of God’s forgiveness is truly a gift. After a confessed sin and thus a renewed and repentant heart, I fall asleep with little effort and sleep like a baby.

So how am I sleeping these days? Lent is my time to snuggle down with God. If I will let God have God’s way in my life, my restless nights become His. And I discover anew what the Psalmist meant when he proclaimed, “…he who keeps you will not slumber. He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.” (Psalm 121:3b-4) Staying awake at night is God’s business, not my business.

Thanks, God, for letting me rest in you.