20th day of Lent

I’m half-way home. Today is Lent number 20. That is one-half the way through these 40 days of Lent. What has this exercise of self-reflecting and vulnerable blogging accomplished so far?

1) Some have said that they are glad I’m doing this. It is helping them in their journey of Lent.

2) Many have said nothing. That doesn’t mean that they’re not listening, but I wonder if this is really worth the effort.

3) Sharon reminds me that I’m doing this for me - not for anyone else. That’s true. And as always she nailed me with the comment.

4) Why is it then that I struggle with other person’s responses? Where does that little voice of insecurity hide that is so hungry for others’ approval? I think it is finally left me, and then it pops up and takes control one more time.

5) I’m starting to feel really vulnerable with that last bullet point. I’d like give off the persona that I am confident and don’t really care what other people think. But that would be a lie.

6) I do care what other people think. As I look back across my life, I think I am better at not letting the opinions of others rule my life. But I wish I were farther down the path on this issue.

7) Half-way to the cross, and I’m still dealing with some old stuff.

8) Maybe that’s why I’m only half-way. There is still some hard and honest stuff to be done if the cross and the empty tomb are to have the dying and resurrecting effect God intends for me.

9) Jesus said "The truth sets us free." I know that is true, but it is not always easy to know and state the truth about one’s self. It is easier to say to myself, "I’ll deal with that later." And when I do, the "great cover-up" begins.

10) Twenty days to go. This is spiritually insightful for me. I can feel its value. If it helps at least one in one way, then my sharing this journey in this way will have been worth it (At least I’m going to keep telling myself that until I believe it.).

"Half-way through Lent" – "Half-way" is an interesting term. It means "incomplete." It means "not yet." It means "a ways to go." It means "not whole." It means "just as far to go as you have been." And it means "if you’ve gotten this far, then you can make it all the way." May it be so!