Easter Sunday

The grave has no one in it. He is not there! He is alive! Jesus is not dead anymore! Jesus is alive! Hallelujah! Jesus Lives!

40th day of Lent

It is quiet today. Usually that is how it is the day after someone is buried. There's still a lot of food around with an occasional relative or close friend lingering in the guest bedrrom. But mostly it is a wearisome, lonely, and quiet day - the day after someone is buried. There is numbness to the emotions at this point in the grief process. It is a feeling of "not wanting to wake up" for fear the nightmare might just be true. There is no happy music or funny television programs filling the air on the day after someone is buried. Mostly it is quiet with only whispers filling the air. Tears are still hanging around, but mostly the tears have emptied the tear ducts, and the feeling of the need to cry is not accompanied by tears - there just aren't any more tears to shed.

Jesus is dead and buried in a borrowed tomb. It is finally over. The shouts of anger, and the conspiracy of false accusations have ceased. There's no need to bully Jesus anymore, he's dead. He knew it was over. He cried, "It is finished!" while he died on that cruel tree. He knew it was over. They can't hurt him anymore. I hope they are happy now! They got what they wanted. Jesus is buried. The tomb is sealed and posted with armed guards - which seems silly to me. He's dead! Don't they get it - Jesus is dead!

I'll be quiet today and reflect on these 40 days of journey. Here I am once again on the last day of the week on the last day of Lent wondering what next week will hold for me. I hope it is good and healthy. I hope this journey of Lent has prepared me for what is about to happen. I hope it has made a difference in my heart and life. I hope. It is a quiet that feels a little like the "calm before the storm." I'll wait and see what tomorrow brings.


One last note to the reader:

These blogs have been a therapeutic process for me. I thank you for taking the time to read, and I hope somewhere along the way it has been helpful to your journey of faith. Where do I go from here? Your ideas as to the future of "Very Terry" blogging are appreciated. This blog does not wish to "wear out its welcome." But this blog does not want to "cease prematurely" either. Let me know your thoughts either in the comment section of the blog or at twalton@gfumc.com. Thanks.

39th day of Lent

I’ve never spent a night in jail. I do know several people who have, and they tell me it is a frightening experience. I’ve known several who have had to serve "some time," as they say, which means they were in jail or prison for a period of time. My dad used to tell us kids that if we ever "got locked up," he would leave us there for at least one night so we could "appreciate" the experience and learn our lesson. Maybe that is why I never had to spend a night in jail - I knew I was going to be left there for at least a 24-hour period.

Jesus has been incarcerated in the dungeon under the High Priest Caiaphas’ house. I’ve been to the place where they say this took place. I was deeply moved by that experience. The location of Jesus scourging with 39 lashes is in this place. The place where he was held, which is nothing more than a rock hole in the ground, is there. It moved me beyond my ability to express. We sang the hymn, "What wondrous love is this, O my soul, O my soul, what wondrous love is this, O my soul!" at this place.

Today is the day the world turned dark, and the God of love was crucified. Today is the day that he suffered and died so that I wouldn’t have to suffer for eternity. How can I say thanks? What can I do to offer my appreciation? What can I do? What will I do? This is the day Jesus died. I am saddened. I am still. I am deeply moved. I grieve.

38th day of Lent

Preparing for a Passover meal was tedious and important. I imagine if the rolls are gooey at Easter lunch with all the family gathered that it would be an embarrassment to the cook. Well, to have something forgotten or out of place for the Passover meal would be more than an embarrassment. It would diminish the symbolic meaning of the meal. So on the day that would become "Holy Thursday" long ago; the disciples are busy preparing a room that was on a second level (thus the Upper Room) for a meal that was to be second to none.

But what is going on with Jesus today? I sense his preparation as well. He is preparing to tell his disciples some stunning news. One of them will betray him. The meal that they have always known is going to change in purpose and meaning. One of them will deny him - three times. He will be pushing them way out of their comfort zones. Jesus must have known they were going to have a hard time understanding and accepting his words to them. I wonder how he is preparing his mind and heart for the impending tragic evening.

What is going on with Judas today? He’s preparing too, isn’t he? Was he excited? Was he frustrated? Was it done with a mean spirit? Was it done with a loving spirit, thinking this was the best for all involved?

What is going on with me today? How am I preparing? I have worship tonight to remember all of these events. Will I get it or will it get me?

37th day of Lent

Wednesday – "Hump day." Heading away from Monday and toward the weekend usually means there’s room for a little excitement. But I feel the tension building of this Holy Week. I have had moments in my life when I knew people didn’t like me and might even be speaking ill of me to others - call it paranoia or reality or both. I can sometimes get caught in the trap of trying to please others too much, and then I can swing in the other direction too fast - not caring what certain people think at all. I wonder if Jesus had an awareness of suspicious conversations among the Scribes and Pharisees. Luke’s Gospel records the words, "they conspired against him." That had to feel terrible. Have you ever been conspired against? It has to be an awful feeling - whether you are a "people pleaser" or not.

I read once that to fall down a flight of stairs and break a leg is a painful and frightening experience. But what if you knew for days you were going to fall down that flight of stairs, and that there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop that event from happening? Wouldn’t the knowledge of what was coming make the event all the more horrible? Does Jesus sense the "conspiracy" growing? Does Jesus sense suspicious conversations all around him? Do others sense it as well?

The Wednesday of that first "Holy Week" had to be an agonizing "hump" day. I imagine Jesus wanted to return to Monday not move toward Thursday and Friday. I can almost feel his broken heart for the world. He had been sent to save the world, and now the world was preparing to do the unimagined. The world of Jesus was falling apart as they conspired to finish him off for good. Once Jesus is dead, then they would be free to live their lives without hassle and unnecessary ethical restraint. Once Jesus was finished, the world will be right again. So they thought. What do I think?

36th day of Lent

I wonder what was really going on in the mind of Jesus on Tuesday before he died. Did he know the details of what was coming? The Gospels indicate that he knew something was brewing, but did he know the horror he was about to face? Was he able to sleep on Tuesday night? Was he able to eat on Tuesday? Was he afraid? Was he determined? What was he going through at this point in what we now call “Holy Week?”

Whatever he was going through, he was going through it for me and for everyone else, as well. Whatever he was experiencing, he was experiencing it for us. I am overwhelmed, once again, that anyone, much less the son of God, would go through anything painful for me. I am simply overwhelmed with the thought.

What am I going through on this Tuesday? I am tired from an already busy season of Lent. What am I going through? I am feeling the anxiety of having to say something fresh and new about the story of Easter to several thousand people this Sunday. I am feeling like a whiner to be feeling anything less than appreciative for what Jesus did for all humanity. Whatever I may be going through, it is so small compared to what Jesus went through for me.

35th day of Lent

Baptism is on my mind this morning. Yesterday was a day of privilege for me. What a joy it was to baptize a baby - Jacob Wynne Billingsley. He slept through the entire “holy” event. I’ve had infants scream, spit up, soil their diaper, but never one sleep through the entire moment of baptism. He was precious. Then I attended the baptism of a friend’s granddaughter at the Camp Glisson Chapel. Georgia Leigh Thrasher was equally precious. She was wide awake and looked a little skeptical about all the attention.

Both baptisms were a wonderful reminder to me of the tremendous value of the church of Jesus Christ. It is family. It is inclusive, even of babies that don’t really have a clue (yet) about soul matters. It is a place of “prevenient” grace. The church is the place that I needed long before I ever knew I needed it. Despite all its warts and imperfections, it is God’s place for God’s children. It is a family place.

As I enter this week called “Holy,” I begin by remembering my baptism. I was included long before I ever knew what it meant to be included. I was loved long before I understood love. I was forgiven long before I knew how I would need forgiveness. I was embraced even when I pushed embrace away. I was counted worthy before I could see any worthiness in myself at all.

Baptism is on my mind. I remember it, and I give thanks.

Passion / Palm Sunday

Worship the Lord today. Each Sunday is a day of celebrating our resurrected Lord.

34th day of Lent

Today, I will share in one of the most astounding events of ministry. More than 600 people who call Gainesville First United Methodist Church their church home will get together and serve the Gainesville/Hall County area in the name of Christ. Things will be cleaned and pruned and painted and sung and shared - all in the name of Christ for the good of others. We will begin around our Lord’s Table for a Holy breakfast (Communion) together. And then Jesus will become known to us in many heart-warming ways as we serve.

This day is really important for me. It is important for a whole host of reasons none of which are more important than being involved with so many people who put legs on their faith. I’ve studied the Bible a lot. There is so much to learn there. But if I never put what I learn into action, then of what value is my learning? Today is a laboratory of living our learning.

This Great Day of Service - that’s what we call it - grows all of us forward in faith in so many significant ways. I wish we could have a great day of service every Saturday, but that is not yet realistic. I wish we could have more than one a year. But once again there is an amazing amount of effort that goes into this day, and to do it too often might cause it to lose its effectiveness for Christ and create frustrated servants.

Nonetheless, I do believe that this one day does add to many more “unofficial” days of service for all of us. It raises our sensitivities to needs and to ways in which God can and does use his people. I know I’m more aware of others’ needs having done this for three years before today. I’m growing in my faith because I have participated in the growing of faith of others.

So I’m glad to be sharing in this day. I thank God that it happens every year during Lent. It is probably the most appropriate time of the year for Great Day of Service. It happens while we’re looking inward. It’s important that looking inward must always lead to serving outward. May it be so.

33rd day of Lent

It was cool to spend a few days this spring with my dad, my brother, my brothers-in-law, and my sons at the Atlanta Braves Spring Training. These are memories that all of us will cherish for our lifetimes. One of the things that I enjoy most about these kinds of moments is the laughter. We have a silly family. We laugh at just about anything. But oh, how fun and therapeutic it is to laugh. We laugh at each other. We laugh at ourselves. And yes, we probably shouldn’t do it, but we laugh at others, too.

One of my favorite portraits of Jesus is the portrait of him laughing. I like that image of Jesus because I just know he had to have had many a good belly laugh with those silly disciples. I can just imagine some of their nights around the campfire or at mealtime when one of them would reveal his humanity or reveal the latest pun in Aramaic. Surely there were many moments when Jesus laughed about life.

The Old Testament writer proclaimed that, “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10). Certainly he must have had in mind laughter when he thought and wrote of joy. Not all joy is laughable but a lot of it is. Some joy is just for pondering. Some joy is for carrying us through less than joyful times. It is an inner thing, this joy, and yet at times it is an outer thing as well.

While Lent is a somber time of preparation and reflection, it is also a time to look deep within and touch base with the joy that is my strength. Nothing was joyous about my Lord’s excruciating death. But what came as a result of it, is joy unspeakable and full of glory. May it be so.

32nd day of Lent

I’ve been thinking about what Jesus said. He said a lot of things, but one thing has been weighing on my mind. “Love you neighbor as yourself” is what he said. My experience teaches me that when I really get to know someone they are easy to love. If a circumstance causes a slant of opinion to be superimposed upon a person, that superimposition can create an obstacle of getting to know someone. Gossip someone may share about someone else can create a bias in my heart and mind and make it more difficult for me to know someone, and thus difficult to love that person. But if I get a chance to know someone, it continues to be amazing to me how much easier it is to love that person. Even if they are very different from me, they become easy to love. Even if they believe differently than I do, they become easier to love. When I take the chance to understand - really understand - someone, then I find, in most cases, they become people that can be loved.

Therefore, I really enjoy moments when I can let down my hair (so to speak) with someone, and they can let down their hair with me. It is amazing how much we have in common as human beings. And when we discover our “commonness” then we have a common ground for building a relationship. It is a wonderful thing.

So I’m going to be very intentional about creating opportunities and seizing opportunities for understanding and knowing people. If I do this, then maybe they will return the favor. And who knows what a difference this ripple effect may have in this world. Remember, I am a person who believes that it really is possible for there to be peace on earth one day. Maybe this is how I can contribute. May it be so.

31st day of Lent

Today, I reflect on some of my spiritual ancestors. These are the people who have passed the faith to me. Of course, my parents fall into this category. They believed in going to church and making sure that their children went as well. They were dedicated and committed to the work of the church and the cause of Christ. Emboldened in my memory is my dad standing in front of the congregation placing his offering check in the offering plates before he passed them to the ushers. I wonder how many thousands of dollars my dad and mom have freely given to the work of Christ through the church - and they have never been wealthy people.

I think of my aunt and uncle who when we’d spend nights with them in the summer, they’d kneel before their sofas in their living room for prayer as a family each night before bed. Even my cousin who has cerebral palsy would leave her wheelchair and kneel for prayer. It made an impact on my life.

I think of many faces in small country churches that just did whatever it took to offer Christ to their communities. There was Ed Griffin and Bill Delay. There was Bob Manley and Edison Steel. There was Gene Yates and Penny Kilgore. And many more who had tremendous influence through their love and dedication. Their witness of faith in Christ still rings true in my heart to this day.

I think of many church people who I have had the privilege of knowing across my years of ministry who have been positive, “can do” Christians and have moved the church of Jesus Christ forward. They continue to show up with faithfulness and joy each and every week because they know Jesus died for them and for the world.

I can only hope my life will offer faith to someone who knows it and sees it. May it be so. Thanks, God, for my spiritual ancestors.

30th day of Lent

I continue to struggle with the divisive nature of our county. It seems that regardless of the issue, we are more concerned with the source of the idea than we are the merits of the idea. And if one is a conservative or liberal, then one must make their stance on the premise of who they are rather than on the premise of a good or bad idea. We are losing something as a people. We are losing our soul to relentless grudges of the past and promised paybacks in the future. We are no longer aligned with people and their needs; we are aligned with party and self-interest. It is concerning to me as I journey through Lent.

Where am I in all of this? I am at a place where I’m cautious, and I don’t like it. I feel I have to feel out the group before I speak my opinion. If I don’t do this, then I may be making a foolish choice of "freedom of speech" (isn’t that an oxymoron these days?). It is frustrating and feels very unhealthy. What would cause people to slander a person of different ethnicity or sexual orientation? What would cause people to stand so boldly in the place of "you’re either for us or against us?" Have we become so fearful? Have we become so narrow? Have we lost our love for others’ ideas and others’ opinions? Have we decided in our frustration with life that the best way is a "my way or the highway" approach?

God, help me for I am the only one I can control. Help me to be open minded and compassionate. Help me not to throw a person away just because I may disagree with them on an issue or two. Lord, help me not to become the very thing I abhor - a judgmental, negative, and narrow soul (just in saying it, I’m headed in that unthinkable direction). Dear God, help me to be a part of the solution and not a part of the problem. May it be so.

29th day of Lent

Lent is getting long for me. Why does it seem long? Is it the 40 days or is it the subject matter? I know that "40 days" in the Bible doesn’t literally mean "40 days." It symbolically means "a very long time." I am feeling "that" today - "a very long time." I am tired of introspection. I am tired of preparation for the cross and resurrection. I’m ready for it to be here. Why am I so ready?

Maybe I’m ready for Lent to be here because I’m tired of doing these blogs. Maybe I’m ready because I feel a need for a different routine. Maybe I’m just plain weary with all the "stuff" that goes with Lent and Easter. Maybe I’m weary of looking inward and am ready to look somewhere (anywhere) else. Maybe the lessons of Lent are getting too close to home for me, and I’ve dealt with sin and its presence in me and around me enough. Or maybe, just maybe, I’m just ready.

Whatever the reason, I can’t rush certain things - this is one of those things. I can’t rush the cross, and I can’t rush Easter. I suppose there is a lesson in the fact that I’m just going to have to accept the fact that there are still 11 days of Lent yet to be experienced. Lent may seem long to me, but Lent is not done with me. What lessons does she still have for me?

Worship the Lord today. Each Sunday is a day of celebrating our resurrected Lord.

28th day of Lent

Tiger Woods is returning to Professional Golf on April 8, during the most prestigious golf tournament, “The Masters.” How do I feel about someone who has betrayed his wife, family, and himself with extramarital affairs and now wants to return to his professional and public life? Maybe I’m too much of a pushover, but I say let the man get back to his life and move forward. Where is the grace from those who now have thrown Tiger away because of his moral errors? I don’t understand their incessant anger.

I do understand disappointment that a public figure exemplifies his humanness. I do understand the long journey of rebuilding trust that will have to occur for their marriage to be whole again. I do understand the painful lessons that Tiger must learn through all of this. I do understand. But I don’t understand why some folks want to crucify someone because of their human failings. Let them suffer the consequences of their action, but do I have to be one who piles on the suffering?

I am human. I have never betrayed my wife. I am a public figure (not as public as Tiger by any stretch of any imagination, but I am a public figure). I do know what it is to be disappointed by people and to disappoint people. I do know what it feels like to try and stay healthy when a lot of people want a part of your time, attention, and opinion (again, not as much as Tiger, but I do know some of that feeling). I do know sin. I do know forgiveness. I do know what it feels like for people to pile on you when you’re down. I do know what it feels like for the public not to know or understand your private struggle.

Why is it so hard for people to allow their public heroes some grace? Maybe it is because they have their heroes placed way too high on a pedestal. Maybe it is because they are aware of their own humanness, and they had hopes that someone could be above the fray of humanity. Maybe it is because if they can “slam dunk” someone else, they, at least for awhile, can keep the attention off themselves. Maybe they are jealous of someone who makes so much money and is adored by so many people. And when the object of their jealously falls, it is their chance to cash in their anger.

I say if I’m going to err, I want to err on the side of grace rather than judgment. Jesus died for me. Jesus died for Tiger Woods. Jesus died. That is amazing grace. And I bet it would be a sweet sound to Tiger’s ears right about now. May it be so.

27th day of Lent

What are things that please God? I think that God is pleased when people treat other people just like they would like to be treated. However, this "Golden Rule" becomes a bit gray when I consider that there are times when how we would like to be treated is not the best for us. For example, if I want to be chief of the tribe, then do I want someone else to be chief too. There can only be one chief. Co-chiefs probably wouldn’t work. So to be chief must mean that I don’t want others to be chief. And let’s say I want to be the center of attention all the time. Is there room for others to be the center of attention as well as me? How big is the center where the attention lies? If it is too big, then my getting attention becomes less. So if I have this need to be the center of attention, then it must mean that I don’t want others to be the center of attention.

This causes the "Golden Rule" to break down significantly. But when I think that Jesus gave us this guide for our lives assuming the health of relationships being excellent, it makes more sense to me. Another example that comes to mind is the example of the promise of scripture that if we turn to God, then God will give us the "desires of our heart." But again, there is an assumption in this scripture. The assumption is that when one turns to God, God places the appropriate desires in our heart so that our heart and God’s heart become one. God does give us the desires of our heart, but it happens only as our hearts are changed.

I do think it pleases God to treat others like I want to be treated - in the healthiest of ways. I want to be treated kindly. I want to be loved. I want to be given the benefit of the doubt. I want to have the privilege to defend myself if I have hurt someone. I want to be happy. I want people to be patient with my humanness. I don’t want others to gossip about me. I want to be seen and heard as a legitimate human being. I want my opinion to count. And the list goes on.

This then is how I must treat others. I need to stay away from my insecurities and my fears because they tease me into treating others differently than I would desire them to treat me. I must acknowledge that there is no double standard - one for me and another for others. God loves me. But God also loves others - just as much as God loves me.

This is what I must do. This will please God.

26th day of Lent

As I am moving through Lent, perhaps it is a good time to ask, "What do I really believe?" Sometimes asking what seems to be obvious is a good exercise for spiritual journey.

• I believe that God is love.
• I believe that Jesus is God’s Son.
• I believe that God is more interested in wooing the world into His arms than judging the world for its inadequacies.
• I believe sin has one goal: destroy life.
• I believe sin operates in small, hidden ways more than big, bright ways.
• I believe negative people are struggling with sin. Sometimes it is the sin of their fathers and mothers, but it is still sin.
• I believe positive people are leaning toward the good news. "Hope" is a positive word.
• I believe the Holy Spirit is God’s power and presence in the world today.
• I believe in Heaven, and I believe in Hell.
• I believe that God is the ultimate decider of who goes to heaven and who goes to hell. It cannot be me because there is no way I could know all the facts about anyone’s life. I don’t even know all the facts about my own life.
• I believe God’s heart is as big as the universe and is open to anyone at anytime.
• I believe with God there is always hope.
• I believe there can be peace on earth one day.
• I believe there is much more that I will learn as I grow forward in my walk with God.
• I believe that whatever happens, it’ll be OK because God is in charge.

I’ll keep thinking about what I believe. It is a good exercise for my Lenten journey.

25th day of Lent

I should know why if I don’t wear green on St. Patrick’s Day, I will be pinched, but I don’t know. I’m sure there is some crazy reason. All I know is I always make a concerted effort to wear green so I won’t get pinched. If I forget, Sharon is usually the first person to pinch me. She is so attune to such things, except on April Fool’s Day. She often forgets and becomes an easy target for a wonderful family prank that I may tell you about later - it is hilarious when some of us in the family get her "fooled" on April 1.

Anyway, back to today. It is a day to wear green. If you drink beer, you may even drink green beer. In Chicago, there is a river that they turn green. And in Savannah, there is a parade because of the Irish population there, I guess. I really don’t know a lot about this day, except to say, I know I’d better wear green or I’m getting pinched. So green I will wear! Because I prefer to avoid pain.

It reminds me of consequences in life. You do certain things, and there are consequences. For example, around Christmas time, I tried to slip through a yellow/red traffic light. About a month later, I get this letter in the mail with a photo of the rear of my vehicle (three photos actually) showing me that I had run through a red light, and thus owed Gwinnett County $70. You do certain things - there are consequences. I didn’t do it intentionally, but nonetheless I owed them $70. I paid the ticket.

I think this was part of why Jesus came as God in the flesh to the earth. Not to get me out of traffic tickets, but to help all of us understand that "if we do certain things, there will be consequences." Jesus came to show us a way that is full only of good consequences. That if we would follow that way, we would be fulfilled and complete. And even if we erred along the way, we have Him who has paid the price for our errors. Maybe that is what he meant when he said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life."

Jesus doesn’t remove my consequences of everyday stupidity like running through red traffic lights. But he did remove my eternal consequences of condemnation if I would follow him. John 3:16 is familiar to most people, but John 3:17 is just as powerful. "Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him." Praise God.

Don’t forget to wear green today!

24th day of Lent

The month of March is known for its wind. March is a great time to fly a kite. It has been a long time since I flew a kite. However, I do remember the power and elation that comes from holding the string and watching that kite soar on windy days. It was a real thrill to soar a kite on a windy day.

John’s Gospel describes the Holy Spirit as wind. We know the wind is blowing, but unless we are meteorologists we have no idea from whence it blows and to where it is going. Occasionally I will play golf on a windy day and return home with a wind-chapped face. Or even worse, I’ll have a wind-burned face. Wind is a powerful force. This time of year, we are very tornado sensitive. In the fall, we are hurricane sensitive. Wind can bring joy or it can bring horror. It is a force to be reckoned with.

I am reflecting today on Jesus’ description of the Holy Spirit as recorded by John. It is like the wind. Sometimes the spirit gives me power to soar, and sometimes the spirit upsets my comfort zone with tornado- or hurricane-force winds. I prefer the gentle wind that refreshes and soothes me. But I know that after a blowing storm, there are often found the clearest of skies and the freshest air. So it is when the Holy Spirit blows rough through my life.

I can’t control the wind. Perhaps that is what frightens me the most. I like to control things. It gives me a sense of security. But what I’m thinking God is working on within me this Lent is to learn to trust God in deeper and wider ways. It is in the trusting of God that I will discover greater joy and meaning for my life. Help me, Lord, to trust You with the gentle breezes of your spirit and with the tornado/hurricane-force winds of your spirit, as well. It is You who knows best, and I want so desperately to learn better to trust You even if it means I get a little windburn. May it be so.

23rd day of Lent

Anticipating the annual national basketball tournament this week is exciting for me. They call it "March Madness." And for us sports fans, it really is a madness of sorts. One basketball game after another for several weekends throughout March and into early April is thrilling. The best college basketball teams in the nation compete for the title of NCAA Basketball Champions. I look forward to it every year. My sons and I fill out our brackets attempting to predict who will win along the way and ultimately win it all. For us, it is fun.

Anticipation is an important emotion and mindset in our spiritual walk as well. I anticipate God’s presence as I live in this Monday and in this middle week in March 2010. I anticipate God teaching and reaching new places in me as I continue this journey of Lent. I anticipate the cross of Good Friday and the empty tomb of Easter eventually coming. I anticipate that I will be a changed person because of what I encounter as I anticipate.

Anticipation keeps me sitting on the edge of my seat. Anticipation keeps me sharp. Anticipation keeps me expecting great things. Anticipation keeps me looking and searching for God’s presence in all people and in all places. Anticipation is a good thing. I can hardly wait for what it will bring.

Fourth Sunday in Lent

Worship the Lord today. Each Sunday is a day of celebrating our resurrected Lord.

22nd day of Lent

Taking a break is a good thing. I remember working in the Cotton Mill as a 16-year-old. I always appreciated my 15-minute break when it came around. I love my lunch break each day. Usually, I will eat lunch with a friend, staff member, or church member. Occasionally, I get to have lunch with Sharon - that’s always special.

But every now and then, I need an extended break. I need time to shut off my everyday passions and routines. My brain needs a rest. My body needs a rest. My heart needs a rest. I have discovered that I’m a much better human being when I allow myself time to re-create. Even during Lent it is good to take a break. This stuff of looking at the cross and looking at my heart and life is wearisome. I need a break.

I guess that is why our church forbearers theologically stated that Sundays would not be included in Lent. There would be 40 days of Lent excluding Sundays. Sunday is always a celebration of Easter. Therefore, it doesn’t fit as a day “of” Lent. Sundays will become days “in” Lent not days “of” Lent.

Rhythms in life are helpful. The seasons come and go. Routines last a while, and then there is “spring break” or “winter break” or “summer break” or “Thanksgiving” or “Christmas.”

I am grateful for the Lenten season, but I am equally grateful for the break of the Sabbath. It reminds me of the hope of resurrection in my own life.

21st day of Lent

I officiated at a funeral on Wednesday and shared the story behind the hymn, “It Is Well with My Soul.” What a story! A man and wife lose a son. The man, Horatio Spafford, then has great financial loss in the Great Fire of Chicago in 1871. Horatio decided that his family needed a vacation together. He sends his wife and four daughters ahead of him to England on the SS Ville du Havre. The family loved Dwight L. Moody and heard he would be preaching an evangelistic series of services that fall in London. But tragedy once again struck when there was a collision at sea with another vessel. Horatio’s wife survived, but all four daughters were lost at sea.

Later, Horatio would sail to the spot of the tragedy, and he would pen the words, “When sorrows like sea billows roll…it is well with my soul.” And this great hymn was born.

I just don’t know how some people survive the tragedies of this life. I can’t imagine losing one child much less five. All I can say is that the presence and power of God is great - greater than anything that can come my way. It has to be. If it wasn’t, how could anyone survive tragedy? Thanks, God, for your real and sustaining presence each and every day. And thanks, especially, for the moments in life when we need you most - you are always there - Emmanuel!

20th day of Lent

I’m half-way home. Today is Lent number 20. That is one-half the way through these 40 days of Lent. What has this exercise of self-reflecting and vulnerable blogging accomplished so far?

1) Some have said that they are glad I’m doing this. It is helping them in their journey of Lent.

2) Many have said nothing. That doesn’t mean that they’re not listening, but I wonder if this is really worth the effort.

3) Sharon reminds me that I’m doing this for me - not for anyone else. That’s true. And as always she nailed me with the comment.

4) Why is it then that I struggle with other person’s responses? Where does that little voice of insecurity hide that is so hungry for others’ approval? I think it is finally left me, and then it pops up and takes control one more time.

5) I’m starting to feel really vulnerable with that last bullet point. I’d like give off the persona that I am confident and don’t really care what other people think. But that would be a lie.

6) I do care what other people think. As I look back across my life, I think I am better at not letting the opinions of others rule my life. But I wish I were farther down the path on this issue.

7) Half-way to the cross, and I’m still dealing with some old stuff.

8) Maybe that’s why I’m only half-way. There is still some hard and honest stuff to be done if the cross and the empty tomb are to have the dying and resurrecting effect God intends for me.

9) Jesus said "The truth sets us free." I know that is true, but it is not always easy to know and state the truth about one’s self. It is easier to say to myself, "I’ll deal with that later." And when I do, the "great cover-up" begins.

10) Twenty days to go. This is spiritually insightful for me. I can feel its value. If it helps at least one in one way, then my sharing this journey in this way will have been worth it (At least I’m going to keep telling myself that until I believe it.).

"Half-way through Lent" – "Half-way" is an interesting term. It means "incomplete." It means "not yet." It means "a ways to go." It means "not whole." It means "just as far to go as you have been." And it means "if you’ve gotten this far, then you can make it all the way." May it be so!

19th day of Lent

It’s raining…again!? I’m tired of winter! My kids are tired of snow - and that’s saying something! When will spring arrive? I’m weary of being cold all the time.

God must really get weary of the fickleness we humans seem to have about the weather. Several months ago, we were praying (literally begging) for God to send rain. Now we’re begging God to STOP sending moisture. But we do want the lake to stay full. We are so hard to please.
I’m thankful that "God is abounding in steadfast love and slow to anger." I’m so glad that God doesn’t give up on us. I’m so glad that God is patient and kind. I’m equally glad that God is merciful and forgiving.

But I need to work on my "fickleness." I am going to try to start appreciating every day regardless if it is weather I like or dislike. I am going to work at being grateful for the season at hand. They are all necessary, even though fall is my favorite. I just love the color of autumn leaves. God, help me to be a grateful soul. Help me to appreciate you and all that you give - whether I understand the sequence of things or not. Help me rest in the fact that you are in charge!

18th day of Lent

Sleeping well is a gift. I am discovering that a clear and clean conscience has great impact on sleep. I am glad to say that most nights I sleep very well. Sometimes I’m burdened and that keeps my sleep restless. And when I’m restless then I get “less” rest. Sleep is a good place to check up on my Lenten journey. Am I resting well, or am I burdened and restless? Is my conscience clean and clear?

I can be burdened about life. I can be burdened about our children. I can be burdened about decisions to be made. I can be burdened about a friend or parishioner in trouble. I can be burdened about uncertainties. But Jesus taught me to share my burdens with Him through prayer. When I listen to His advice and follow His directive I discover just what Peter understood when he recorded these words: “Cast all your anxiety on God, because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) Learning to cast my anxious burdens into God’s hands helps me to sleep and rest well.

I remember being asked as a child, “Is your conscience bothering you?” This was mom’s way of trying to discover who had “done it.” She was on the search for the guilty party of misbehavior. In my adult years, I have discovered if my conscience is bothering me, I don’t sleep very well. If I have sinned in some way and am trying to hide it from God, myself and others, then I am restless. The power of “confession” of sins is quite energetic. If I accept my sin as sin and confess it to God, it is amazing how peaceful my life becomes. The grace of God’s forgiveness is truly a gift. After a confessed sin and thus a renewed and repentant heart, I fall asleep with little effort and sleep like a baby.

So how am I sleeping these days? Lent is my time to snuggle down with God. If I will let God have God’s way in my life, my restless nights become His. And I discover anew what the Psalmist meant when he proclaimed, “…he who keeps you will not slumber. He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.” (Psalm 121:3b-4) Staying awake at night is God’s business, not my business.

Thanks, God, for letting me rest in you.

17th day of Lent

Yesterday, in Sanctuary Worship, we dealt with the tough issue of sin and temptation. Temptation is real. I notice that in the Lord’s Prayer that Jesus prayed, “Lead us not into temptation.” It is interesting that he did not pray, “Lead us not ‘unto’ temptation.” Perhaps that is because Jesus knew we were all going to have to face temptation. And when we do, we can become stronger as we allow God to help us resist it. It is a kind of strength that we don’t get unless we go through the experience. So in one sense of the word, to be tempted is good as it increases our spiritual muscle when we resist. That is an odd way of looking at temptation, but I can see how that could be true.

I need to do more muscle-resistance exercises. That is good for my body muscles. It keeps them toned and strong. Since temptation is inevitable, then it could be said that what evil desires as my downfall, God can use to make me stronger. But it all depends on whether I allow God to work in me or not. It is dangerous to think that I can fight temptation all alone. It seems to me that it is like playing with fire. And those who play with fire eventually get burned. I must understand that only as I allow God’s Spirit to work in and through me is it possible for evil’s intentions to become God’s blessings.

On the cross they cried to Jesus, “If you are the Son of God, then throw yourself down from there.” That sounds all too familiar to the temptations Jesus faced in the wilderness. “If you are the son of God, throw yourself off the pinnacle of the temple. They will see you are not harmed and then all will know you are the Son of God.” The temptation of Jesus on the cross was to take a path of least resistance and play it evil’s way for his own personal satisfaction. Jesus chose to play it God’s way. What evil meant to use to destroy God’s only child, God used to give life to every child who would believe. Jesus was led “unto” temptation and stayed away from being led “into” temptation. And with the help of Jesus so can I. Lord, may it be so.

Third Sunday in Lent

Worship the Lord today. Each Sunday is a day of celebrating our resurrected Lord.

16th day of Lent

Visiting the book of Proverbs is one of my favorite places to visit. I remember as a youth, while returning from a UMYF youth retreat, I began to read these verses of ancient wisdom. I found them intriguing as a young person. I continue to find them intriguing as a young grandparent.

“If you indeed cry out for insight, and raise your voice for understanding; if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures - then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.” (Proverbs 2:3-5) Wow! Who doesn’t wish for the knowledge of God in all decisions and in all of living? I know I sure do.

Sometimes I can do the stupidest things and speak foolish words. Why am I so slow to wisdom? Yet I have had moments when I do feel God has spoken a word of wisdom to me and through me. I have even had moments I would describe as surreal when in a flash of a moment God spoke through me to help someone else with a word of wisdom. So I know it is possible - just not as frequent as I’d like.

Why is it this way for me? I suspect I know the answer. If it were easy, then I might not appreciate its value. If it were easy, I might think it was me and not God. If it were easy, then I might become a “mis-user” of such a gift and lean toward arrogance rather than humility. If it were easy to be wise, I might grow to be unwise as I tended toward taking wisdom for granted.

I suspect it is like a lot of growing issues in my life. God is more interested in the process of my growing than God is interested in the end result of my growth. God is interested in the journey as much as God is interested in the destination. Perhaps the realization that wisdom comes difficult for me is exactly the “teaching point” that God desires for me. It is this awareness that keeps me sensitive to my need to “cry out for insight and raise my voice for understanding.” It is my acknowledgement of wisdom lacking that causes me to “seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures.” It is in such places that I will “understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.” May it be so.

15th Day of Lent

I was thinking of childhood songs this morning. I can still sing a lot of them. Some of them I still hear children sing and others I’ve not heard for years. One song I haven’t heard sung in quite some time is “Every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before. Every day with Jesus, I love him more and more. Jesus saves and keeps me. He’s the one I’m living for. Every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before.” I remember my cousin, Richard, teaching us that song. It is a good memory for me.

Another song I haven’t heard lately is “The windows of heaven are open. The blessings are falling tonight. There’s joy, joy, joy in my heart since Jesus made everything right…” I don’t remember the rest of the song. But I do remember having the image in my head of windows in the sky opening up and blessings (whatever they look like—I’m not quite sure how to describe how I saw them as a small boy) falling down from heaven. It is a good memory.

And there are the songs I remember like “The B.I.B.L.E., yes, that’s the book for me. I stand alone on the Word of God, The B.I.B.L.E.” Of course, “Jesus Loves Me” and “Jesus Loves the Little Children” are precious memories for me. Then there is a song I remember from Bible School that included the books of the New Testament as its verse. That song I still hum when I’m looking up a passage of New Testament scripture.

As I reflect today, I am very thankful for songs of faith from my childhood. I am thankful for those who taught me to sing my faith. I needed to remember this during Lent because sometimes when I’m singing with children I forget the impact it could be having in them. My witness is important. My words are important. But when my words are put to song they pass on to the lips of someone else. That is no small thing.

14th day of Lent

I have one of those coughs that just will not quit. It is lingering into the end of week two, and looks like it has momentum to swing forth into week three. My physician says I’m fine. He says “this stuff is everywhere in our community.” So I’m tongue-red from cough drops and nose-red from Kleenex. I’m just a participant in the greater community of germs being shared in a generous manner these days.

Life is full of nagging things. None of us are exempt from such inconveniences and aggravations. Therefore, the question for me is: how will I respond to such unwelcome guests? Will I give into them and let misery be the rule of the day? Or will I rise above them and grab as much life as I can from the day at hand? Granted there will be days when I must surrender and allow my body to rest so that I can regain health. But I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about these kinds of days - the days that are full of coughs and sniffles but no fever or aches of body. I’m talking about those nagging injuries that do not put me in a cast or splint but only make me limp and flinch ever so slightly.

In sports there is a phrase often spoken - “playing through an injury.” This is the idea I reflect on today. Can I play through the minor injuries of life? Or will I give them more power than they warrant? I suspect that while this may seem to be only about the body that it is also about the soul. The health of my soul has a direct impact on the health of my body. The posture of my soul has an impact on the level of my tenacity when things are less than perfect in body. If I have strength of soul, it seems to me that that gives me strength for body when weakness creeps in.

Lord, strengthen my soul. Continue to help me understand that You are a God of body, soul, and mind. You are not only a Holy God, but You are also a God of wholistic health. Continue to show me where there may be any sniffles in my soul.

13th day of Lent

Snow in Georgia during March? That is almost unheard of. My memory tells me that March 13, 1993, it snowed 16 inches in Acworth, Georgia. I was pastor then of Acworth UMC, and several hundred people lived in our church facilities for five days. Interstate 75 was closed to travel from Acworth to Boston. It was an unexpected adventure.

Out of that adventure came relationships with people headed home from spring breaks and ‘snow birds’ headed north for spring and summer. They were stranded. The motels/hotels were full. So we hosted, and we had a blast. It was ministry at its best. From the unexpected, blessing was found.

Lent is that way for me. There are things I know to expect from Lent - purple Paraments, cross made from a Chrismon Tree, somber music, and an annual look inward. But inevitably there are surprises in Lent. Just as much a surprise as a snowfall in Georgia in March, God shows up in unexpected ways and offers to do unexpected things in my life. You’d think by now, I’d learn not to be surprised - but I usually am.

Often the surprises are small, but occasionally they are big. What is the surprise this year? I’m waiting and watching. Will it be some sinful thought or behavior that I am unaware of that God will show me? Will it be some new adventure of faith growth that God wants for me? Will it be big? Will it be small? Whatever it may be, I sure don’t want to miss it!

Dear Lord, keep me honest in my Lenten adventure. Help me not to miss what you have for me. Help me not to miss what you know I need. Help me to see your surprise for the beauty that it is - even if it is inconvenient and messy - like a March snowfall in Georgia.

12th day of Lent

Dealing with death is not easy for me. My first encounter was at age 6 when my brother died unexpectedly of bacterial meningitis. He was only 18 months old. My memories are sparse, but I do remember it being the first time that I witnessed my dad cry. I didn’t fully understand what had occurred, and I’m not sure how it impacted me. I only have memories of a lot of people loving us and giving us an unusual amount of attention.

Later, it was my grandparents’ deaths that impacted me. At age 10, then age 12, I attended the funerals of my paternal grandmother and grandfather, respectively. My maternal grandparents lived until my young adult years. All four deaths were hard and sad. Yet all four died as people of significant faith; therefore in the sadness was celebration.

The first funeral I preached was hard. It was for a man who was very much a grandfather figure for me - Papa Mayhue was what everyone called him. I “broke down” (to use an old Southern phrase) during my comments celebrating his life. I was a freshman in college, and it was embarrassing to cry in public. I have shared in numerous memorial worships of celebrating people’s lives since Papa Mayhue. It still isn’t easy for me.

I guess I’m glad that it is never easy. Death is not something that I want to become “old hat” (to use another Southern phrase). I’m not embarrassed to cry in public anymore. Usually the crying for me happens more with the family than at the Service of Remembrance. It hurts to see people hurt. And it is frustrating not to be able to fix their pain in the moment. Death is not easy.

My dad is working at a funeral home in his retirement. He loves to connect with people and to feel helpful in their great time of need. It keeps him going. God does use him in some wonderful ways. I’m not sure, though, I will do that in my retirement. Death just isn’t easy.

Lent is about dying - dying to self and to sin. That’s not easy either. The temptation is to just ignore sin and to justify keeping self at the center. Death is hard, and yet death is necessary. Lent reminds me of the “necessary-ness” of death. If there is to be a resurrection, death has to occur. It is true about life, and it is true about sin.

Lord, help me to be willing to submit to what is hard and uncomfortable - maybe even painful. Help me to learn to embrace death rather than fight it. Help me to see it is a doorway to life. In the meantime, help me to live life so that whether in death or in life, I am at peace with You.

11th day of Lent

Today was a day to focus on prayer. The question was, "Why pray when so often it seems that God isn’t there?" It was a good question for me to revisit. The process of sermon preparation and eventual delivery I have often compared to how women (I certainly wouldn’t know for certain) describe pregnancy and childbirth. It is in the labor of preparing for birth that a tremendous amount of bonding takes place between mother and child. When the birth happens, the "birth-er" is already ahead of everyone else when it comes to bonding with the infant (or in this case "infant sermon"). I have occasionally exited the study after several hours of sermon preparation proclaiming to my secretary or to my wife or to anyone who would listen, "I just gave birth to a 9lb. 10 oz. baby sermon."

So I have bonded with prayer this past week, and it was born anew in me this morning in the delivery process of preaching. It is true when it seems that prayer is a meaningless exercise in self-conversation that is when I need to pray all the more. It is in those moments when I don’t "feel" that God is listening that I need pray all the more. It is in those moments that God just may be doing God’s best work in me. As a matter of fact, I have been reminded that this kind of prayer is "faithful" prayer. And it is this kind of prayer that needs of me my most honest expressions to God. In this honesty of feeling God’s absence (or not feeling God’s presence), my relationship with God grows deeper and wider. And relationship with God is what prayer is; it is what prayer is all about.

Lord, during Lent help me to be honest with you even if it "feels" like I am exercising a meaningless act of self-conversation. I trust that it is in such moments you are about the good work of interrupting such conversation with word and a voice from you. I do want to hear you. I want to continue to learn to recognize the sound of your voice. Thanks for understanding my humanness and loving me into a deeper and wider relationship with you.

Second Sunday in Lent

Worship the Lord today. Each Sunday is a day of celebrating our resurrected Lord.

10th day of Lent

I’m preaching tomorrow in Living Waters Worship. God has blessed me with a love for all kinds of worship. I love to preach in our Sanctuary Worship Service which is traditional in nature. I love to preach in Living Waters which is casual and modern in nature. I do love the anthems of choirs and handbells and organs. I love the old hymns of which I have been nurtured and grown in my faith. And I love the newer hymns that are being written and sung anew almost weekly. I love the stringed instruments of acoustical guitar, bass guitar, and the violin. I love the joy in the faces of those who sing in choirs and of those who sing in praise bands. It gives me hope for the future of the church.

What bothers me though is how different traditions, when juxtaposed with each other, can create an unhealthy sense of competition. Those who are drawn to one tradition over another often feel “theirs” is the best and is the only way for those who would desire to be as spiritually mature as they. I guess the longer I live the more I am deciding that God is more of a “both/and” God than an “either/or” God. Why is it that we have this tendency to always compare things and are hesitant to embrace things?

Some of the most mature and wise persons I’ve known have taught me to be open to others rather than shun others. They have taught me to enjoy diversity rather than be threatened by diversity. They have taught me that unity does not equate to uniformity.

Dear Lord, help me to grow in the ways of the mature and wise. Help me to know very quickly when I fall into the trap of unhealthy competition. Help me to learn how to embrace and allow others the same privilege in their lives. May it be so.

Ninth day of Lent

Making this list of the 40 most influential people in my life has been a very insightful Lenten exercise. I have finally caught up and am even working a day or two ahead in sending these notes of gratitude. It is helping me to have a broader understanding of my life. That is helping me not to get so caught up in every moment, but to see my life as a series of moments; all of which are important, but none carry more weight than they should carry. All moments are not equal, and thus God has used a variety of people, in a variety of ways, at a variety of times, to do a variety of things. But it all has been God at work.

It is not that it is all about me, but I must take time to see and know me. If I don’t, then how can I really see and know someone else. It is so easy in ministry to focus on others that one might never focus on their own spiritual needs. It is awkward writing every day about my introspection. It almost feels a bit egotistical, yet isn’t that what Lent is all about - self introspection? I guess the difference is found in what I do with what I see and learn about me. I suppose it could go to my head when I receive affirmation in my journey. And I suppose it could go to my gut and live there too long when I receive conviction of sin and see the weaker parts of me.

Lord, help me to see and know myself. As a matter of fact, that sounds a bit like a Psalm I once memorized. “Search me O God and know my heart. Test me and know my thoughts.” Psalm 139:39. That is my prayer. Help this Lenten exercise not to be just an exercise for exercise sake. Help it to be what you need for it to be so that I can be for others what you need for me to be for them.

Eighth day of Lent

The phrase "building character" is in my mind today. Perhaps that is because I taught from the book of Romans last night and made reference to Romans 5:3-5, which reads, "And not only that, be we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us."

I suppose all of our lives we are at work "building character." What is it that we are building? I don’t remember who said it, but someone said, "Character is who we are when no one is looking." Of course, it is implied that we are hopefully building "good" character. That is the role of parents – to build character. And then that role is turned over to us. Hopefully, we will build upon a good foundation laid by our parents and make good character.

The problem is that not everybody gets that good foundation. I was fortunate. I thank God for my parents. Even with their imperfect ways of parenting (there is no such thing as a perfect parent - I really didn’t realize this until I became one), they gave me a good foundation. They instilled in me values of God and Christ. Even at times, they put "the fear of God" in me. And I’m not sure that’s bad either. I feel for those who have not had a solid foundation for building good character.

As I continue to look within during this Lenten Season, I can still see some construction work that needs to be done. It is the little things that can eat away at character like termites at a house. Someone asked me to do something, and I said that I didn’t have the time. That wasn’t true. The truth is I didn’t want to do it so I told a "white lie" to excuse my way out of something I didn’t want to do - a termite to my character.

Lord, help me to continue to be open to your construction of my character. Thank you for the foundation built by my parents and by countless other witnesses of good character that have crossed my life’s path. Be about the business of exposing the termites that might be eating away at the good character you desire for me. Thank you for pouring your love into my heart through the Holy Spirit that has been given to all of us.

Seventh day of Lent

Why is it so easy, Lord, not to see your presence in what is going on in life? It seems easier to see the negative and thus harder to see the positive. Is it because the negative in someone else tricks me into thinking there is more positive in myself? Is it because there really is more negative in the world? Is it because the "squeaky wheel gets the grease?" Why are the negative so loud and the positive seemingly so quiet? Even your voice has been called the "still, small voice."

I had to work hard at helping myself and my son to see good progress that had been made across several years of dealing with "intimidating personalities." Why couldn’t we see it sooner? It took some effort of reflection and conversation to realize the good growth that had occurred in his life and mine to see how good he was handling an intimidating personality of the present. Why is it so hard at times to see the good in ourselves in a particular moment in time?

It seems that I’m learning that the loud and noisy are not always what need to be seen and heard. I’ve known for some time that extremely loud people are often loud because they are hiding some insecurity in themselves. Maybe this is true in our spiritual walk as well. The loud and noisy might just be that way in order to distract us from the quiet and the necessary. God doesn’t need to be loud. God only needs to be who God is—love. That is enough.

Lord, help me to see you in all people, in all places, at all times. If you are there, then it is always good. Help me see the hope of who you are for the world—which, by the way, includes me.

Sixth day of Lent

Psalm 51 is a Psalm of Penitence. Most scholars believe it is a Psalm of David that was prayed after Nathan confronted him with his terrible sin of having an affair with Bathsheba and thus having her husband Uriah killed. If it wasn’t David’s Psalm, it sure could have been.
I still remember the feeling I used to get when I was ‘found out’ by my mom or dad when I had been ‘up to something’ I shouldn’t have been ‘up to.’ It was a sickening feeling that ran deep in my gut. I was caught, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to weasel my way out of the consequence. No excuse would work. I was done for, and punishment was coming my way. I still remember the feeling. I wonder if that is how David felt when Nathan said to him, "You are the Man!"

Sin is a funny thing. We all think we can get away with it. I don’t know what I was thinking when my mom told me not to go water skiing with my best friend Eddie, and yet I went anyway. Did I not think there would be a price for such behavior? I remember vividly my dad’s gentle voice (and sometimes his voice wasn’t gentle with my sins) as he talked with me about the consequences of my choice to disobey mom. It was almost like he understood my behavior, but for my sake, he could not allow me not to suffer some painful consequence. I remember looking at the floor while he gently talked with me. But you know what I don’t remember? I don’t remember what punishment was given. Isn’t that interesting? I wonder why I don’t remember that piece of the sin?

Maybe I don’t remember, because it was gentleness that took over. I knew I was wrong. Dad knew I was wrong. I think dad knew I knew that I was wrong to disobey mother. Maybe even in that moment grace took over and began to cleanse my memory of punishment. I’m not sure. But it is interesting that the Old Testament states very clearly that when I confess my sin that God takes my sin and remembers it no more (Jeremiah 31:34). If God forgets, then maybe God helps me forget also.

Wash me, cleanse me, purge me, and blot out my transgressions, Lord. Create in me a clean heart. Restore unto me the joy of your salvation. This remains my prayer. Thank you for your grace to me.

Fifth day of Lent

The sermon at church yesterday was on salvation. So I can say this is the day after salvation. That’s an interesting and provoking thought for me – "the day after salvation." As I look deep within, I see a soul that was lifted from the muck and mire of sin and condemnation to life and liberty. But I also see a soul that has not had a straight line of spiritual growth. I have been a wanderer. I would have fit in well with Moses and the wandering Hebrews. Some seasons it seems I take two steps forward only to take three steps backward. But when I look at the long road from salvation to present day, God does allow me to see some progress in my spiritual development. While much of it has come through growing pains, nonetheless it has come. But there is still much more to come. I don’t always know what is coming next in God’s curriculum for me, but I am learning to trust the hand of God in my journey.

Having said that, I must be honest and state that there are still some sins that want to raise their ugly heads from time to time. One I dislike is my tendency to "pigeon hole" people. Why is it, Lord, that when people hurt me or say wrongful stuff about me that I want to put them in the pigeon hole of evil and antagonists FOREVER? I have such a hard time being a person full of grace (isn’t that what you want this preacher/pastor to always be?) while at the same time being a strong and confident person that will not stand for oppressive behavior and oppressive conversation. I sense this is the piece of me that you have in training these days. You’d think by now I’d have all of this down pat, but I don’t. So thanks, God, for what you’re teaching me. Forgive me for being a slow and reluctant learner.

I also see that you continue to work with me on my tendency to take the path of least resistance. Why would I think that this is your way? It never has been, and I suppose it never will be. My desire to please people and to be liked by them tempts me to stay very close to that path of least resistance. This is an area, Lord, where you must be seeing the need for work in me. Sometimes I think I am courageous while at other times, I feel like such a coward. Forgive me for being so wishy-washy with my confidence in you.

This is my "day after salvation." There’s still work to be done even though the best work has been done. I trust that I will look back at this day and see some wandering but also see some progress. Thanks, God, for never giving up on me.

First Sunday in Lent

Worship the Lord today. Each Sunday is a day of celebrating our resurrected Lord.

Fourth day of Lent


I’ve got to get into a better routine of taking care of my physical self. I love to walk, and it always feels great after the journey. Why is it so hard to be disciplined in this area? I am so good at blaming my lack of disciple on this and that. The weather has been a great excuse lately. Then my schedule works well as an excuse. That’s a good excuse because it makes me feel important to be so busy. My entitlement attitude works well as a reason not to exercise. After all I deserve to relax in my chair and watch hour upon hour of the Olympics. I deserve that! (This is a painful blog. It is getting too honest!) And the lamest excuse of all is that if I have any time in the middle of the day to walk, then that might mean I’d have to take a shower and that would mean wasting water and having to change clothes. (What a wimp I can be!)

God, your expectations are just hard to live up to some days. I know that my body is a temple and that your spirit abides there, and therefore, I should take care of it. I do know all of that, but it is difficult. I have an idea. Why don’t you work through some grand chemist and invent a pill I could take every day that would take care of diet and exercise for me? After all, it is all about ME! In some sense your love is all about me. The fact is that it is not JUST about me.

I have a sense that you want me to do more than just send notes to folks during this Lenten season. You actually desire me to take care of my body as well. You want me to give up something for Lent. You want me to give up my laziness (Ouch! That is painful to say.) I’ve got to do a better job of regular exercise and healthy diet. I’ve got to be more consistent. I am tired of whining with excuses as to why it doesn’t get done. Lord, help me today to get out of the chair and love you with the discipline of taking care of me. I am beginning to see that it would be an act of gratitude for you.

Third Day of Lent

I can’t get out of my head the comment that was made by the preacher at our Ash Wednesday worship service. He said, "Our days are numbered." He was talking about these 40 days as a time to reflect on Jesus’ last days because his days were numbered. And then he asked, "You do know that YOUR days are numbered?" I know he is correct, but I don’t like to think about my days being numbered. I just as soon continue to believe that this life of mine will go on forever (I know it won’t go on forever, but I’d sure like to think that it will. I prefer the state of denial.) And then this preacher said, "When people know their days are numbered, they get their lives in order." Of course, he was telling us that Lent is a good time to get our lives back on path and in sync with God.

But this "days being numbered" comment has stuck in my mind. Why? I’m not sure except it has taken me back to my illness last June. That meningitis and encephalitis sure caused me to come out of my state of denial about my mortality. It got me to thinking, but I am too quick to forget. I am too quick to let life get back in routine and forget what lessons have been learned.

Lord, keep my memory sharp with the lessons sent from you. My days are numbered (I hope there are many zeros on the number), and I desire to get my life in proper order. I am watching for what you would have me do to be ready. Help me not to think I have arrived until I arrive with you someday. This day, February 19, 2010, will never be again. I do want to make the most of it. And I do want you to make the most of it in me. I am willing because my days are numbered. I am on my way out of the state of denial.

Second day of Lent

What am I giving up for Lent? People give up chocolate or diet cokes or dessert or some such kind of food. I’ve never done anything like that. But this year I think I’ll give up beets. That’s it! I’m going to give up beets. That is silly of me to say but it does speak to the temptation to give up something that really isn’t that hard to give up and thus trick myself into thinking that I’m REALLY giving up something. I do like beets but to give them up would simply mean I would refrain from eating them at Wednesday Night Supper when they show up on the salad bar. So my ‘sacrifice’ is rather cheap.

That is why people give up things for Lent. It is to honor the sacrifice of Christ on their behalf and a personal sacrifice draws their memory to Christ’s sacrifice over and over again throughout Lent. I understand and perhaps I should try it, but I think I’m going to be intentional in another way. I want to add to instead of take away. Jesus has added so much to my life. I’m going to try and add something to my witness for these remaining days of Lent.

Now I must decide what that addition needs to be. I think I will write a note to 40 different people who have significantly added to my life. I am going to send a gratitude note on each day (which means two for today to catch up) to a person who across my 54 years has added something special to my life. I am going to do this every day. The challenge will be the days that don’t fall into regular routine. I don’t want to fall behind for that will mean days that I didn’t remember how God has added to my life through an individual.

Lord, help me to remember (every day) just how much you have added to my life. I thank you for your addition of abundant living to my life. I thank you now for the journey of remembering those who have been your blessing to me along the way.

Ash Wednesday

"Be still, and know that I am God!" (Psalm 46:10)

I guess I have heard these words for most of my life. I’m sure dad preached a sermon or two on them during my childhood and teenage years. I have read them for devotional times and have heard others use them for their devotionals at various occasions. The bottom line is that I have heard these words a lot, and yet I have to wonder why I haven’t learned to live according to this directive. Why do I find it so hard to "be still?" Is it because I have a case of undiagnosed attention deficit disorder? Perhaps. Is it because my Meyers-Briggs Personality trait is ESFJ (with a focus on the "E"-extrovert)? Why do I struggle to "be still?"

Here I am living through another Ash Wednesday. Here I am beginning another journey of Lent. Will it make a difference in me? Will I be able to "be still" long enough to "know that God is God?" Why don’t I like to "be still?" Maybe it is because I am afraid of what I might learn about myself. Maybe it is because I am afraid of what more I may learn about God. Maybe it is because of the irony that I’m tired of growing and changing so I like to be busy so I don’t have to address the growing pains of my human and spiritual journey. Maybe my "busyness" is an indicator of my fear of letting go of everything and letting God be really in charge.

"Be still, and know that I am God!" I do know it is true. It has to be. Lord, help me to be still. And yet asking you to help me be still is even scary. Because I suspect that if I’m not still you will find a way to make sure I am still because you really want me to know you in a deeper and fresher way. Honestly, Lord, I am a little afraid of this Lenten journey. So…

"Precious Lord, take my hand, lead me on, let me stand, I am tired, I am weak, I am worn; through the storm, through the night, lead me on to the light: take my hand, precious Lord, lead me home."

My name is Terry Walton, and I have been honored to be the Senior Pastor of Gainesville First United Methodist Church, Gainesville, Georgia, for the past 51/2 years. I have been married to one of the sweetest ladies on this earth, Sharon, for 33.5 years. We have three adult children and one very perfect and most definitely precious granddaughter. I asked Jesus to live in my heart as a child and have grown (not in a straight line) to understand God’s love for me and for all people across my 54 years of living. I can hardly imagine the many things God has yet to teach this hard-headed preacher, but I look forward to the adventure. I have served as a United Methodist Pastor under appointment by a Bishop since 1978. The smallest church I served had a membership of 121 with an average of 44 in worship. The largest church had a membership of just over 3300 with an average worship attendance of nearly 1500. I have served in rural settings, suburban settings and town settings. It all has been a privilege. I love Atlanta Braves baseball and the Georgia Bulldogs. I enjoy the outdoors especially hunting and golf.

My hopes for this blog entitled “Very Terry” are to offer my very real and reflective thoughts as I move through the season of Lent (one more time) this year. It is not that my thoughts are profound or even unique but perhaps my thoughts will help add to what you experience during this reflective and somber season of the church year. One thing for sure is that these thoughts will be my thoughts and if nothing else is accomplished you can read my mind as I deal with this Lord who suffered and died for me. I covenant to be real and very much me in my writing. I suppose some days will be more reflective than others. Therefore some days will be brief while others will be like the long-winded reputation of some preachers (this one included) very wordy—but it will all be ‘Very Terry.’

Thanks for sharing in my journey.

God asks us to love the children

I was so proud of our mission team to Orphanage Emmanuel in Guaimaca, Honduras. We were diverse in so many ways, and yet God used us for a single purpose - loving children. It was in the using of us that we learned a lot of things about ourselves and about how God works in this world. We were young, and we were retired. We were male, and we were female. We were conservative and not so conservative. We were grandparents, and we were yet to be parents. We were tall, and we were short. We had a variety of skills to share on behalf of Christ and the precious children of Orphanage Emmanuel. We were God’s people, and we were available for one week of loving children, and we were blessed.

She is 12 years old and has one sister and two brothers - all at the orphanage. She and her younger sister have broken front teeth yet their smiles are still contagious. I was present when Dr. Frank Waggoner repaired her smile. She was so brave and so glad to see her smile be whole again. This family of four came to Orphanage Emmanuel just a few weeks ago among 32 children who needed a home. When they arrived, they were so distraught and not quite sure of this place they were now going to call home. But nonetheless, there they were and it was up to them to adjust. Her name is Vilma Carolina, and she is beautiful. It is hard to understand how she and her siblings could be without a home. She is so easy to love.

I promised Vilma that Sharon and I would pray for her every day. I promised her that we would put her photo on our refrigerator and think of her every day. I promised her we would send her letters and remember her birthday and remember her at Christmas. Maria Wold translated for me as I told her that she would not be forgotten by us. She has been abandoned, and I’m not quite sure she believes me. But, I am determined to help her have faith in a human being one more time. I am determined to help her know that God loves her. I am determined.

There are children just like Vilma all over this world who need love and reassurance that they haven’t been forgotten. Can we touch them all? No. But we can touch those that God puts in our path. We can look for opportunities to be vessels of God’s love for children - young and old. It doesn’t matter their address. It can be Guaimaca, Honduras or Hall County, Georgia. Children are children, and they need to know of God’s love and hope. We are God’s people, and we have love to show and give. I am determined, how about you?